Wicketkeeping sux0rz!~

Being cursed with a bum knee for the past couple of years, I thought I standing still behind the stumps would be something the knee would fancy. Sure I knew I'd have sore thighs, but at least I wouldn't be limping around for New Year's again. So I did. (All this was before a Cricket match). Fast-forward a day later -- my knee's fine. But my butt and my thighs are dead. They don't move anymore. Not that I require my butt to move, but I can't sit on it either.

I was practically huffing and puffing at the end of 5 overs. And those damn heavy pads I had to wear. Sometimes I wish I'd just fielded in the slips or something. And to top it off, I tanned like a mofo.

Need to change

1. This template
2. My Kinetic
3. My blogging habits
4. My spectacles
5. My underwear

Orkut sux0rz!!~ - Reloaded

This new Google Talk thingie they have on thar. I've got Google Talk, but still when I click (like an absolute frickin' n00b) "chat" it asks me to download Gtalk. But I think "I already have GT, much like millions others. Surely there's an option where it says 'already have GT do you? then click here!' ". They don't

Stupid HTML!

Anyone know how I can make the dasheded sidebar go all the way down to the bottom- Oh that's right. No one reads this blog.

It pays to be jobless

If you're thinking that was a clever headline meaning I won the lottery or something, you're wrong.

I'm quite simply, jobless.

I've done absolutely nothing in the past week, except walk in and walk out of work. I haven't even taken advantage of this situation by doing something fun. Oh no! I wouldn't be having fun when I can do nothing.

Orkut sux0rz!!~

Here's why:
1. Every other damn message board software has a simple, easy message/scrap notification. A small white box maybe, that (in bold) says, oh I dunno, "NEW SCRAP!". Simple and doesn't flood my inbox.
2. What's the point of scraps if you can message people?! That's like an option of eating an apple with a spoon or a fork. Ok, bad analogy. But still, people can spy on other peoples' scrapping habits and shit, mayne.
3. Search sux0rz.<--Period/Full stop.
4. Here, look at my cool photos man!
5. If I can IM people, then what the flyin' fluff do I need Orkut for?

Now excuse me, I have some profiles to spy on, people to scrap.

He doesn't know what to do

Yep. Guess "Manmadhan" was a fluke after all. Because "Vallavan" has none of the slickness and the nuances that Simbu show ghost-directing "Manmadhan". The only reason -- in the end -- to watch were two songs: "Loosu Penne" and "Yammadi...".

The film dragged even after snipping 1000 feet of film. At it wasn't really the gimmickry that got to me -- we're used to that by now. Simbu overacts. All Nayantara does is pine. And the most atrocious thing of all: Reema Sen in a fluffin' school uniform. She looks downright ugly. Guess that was deliberate ploy knowing the subtle slights at Dhanush+Aishwarya. The film gets nowhere fast and Simbu's left crying, literally.

Sharad Pawar vs. Ponting+Martyn

In case you haven't seen it --



I'm of the opinion that Pawar was standing there, blinking like an idiot. All Ponting seem to do was gesture for the trophy, which one may argue seemed a little over the line. And Mr. Doofus was still standing there after the trophy was handed. A few points to note:
1. Charu Sharma is a dumbass for making seem like a big deal. It really wasn't.
2. Why must we raise a hue and cry for such frivolous things?
3. Who else though Rameez Raja was Doofus #2 when he said "be cool"? Who does he think he is, Samuel L.?

I know it's probably been said before.

Youtube's gonna become the TV soon, isn't it. Which will make Google the supreme controller of media -- if it isn't already. Scary or comforting?

Proof that I'm a genious (sic)

I knew the first headline when India failed would be "Ooh! Aah! Ouch!"

On a related note: there goes the World Cup. Enough preparation, enough of the camps, enough of "flexible" batting orders. When it comes to the game, we (Team India) still haven't found answers to the same old questions that have risen once again. It's been a constant struggle to get both the Batters and Bowlers to play well and, more importantly, play well together. And the worst part is our own pitches caught us off guard!

t3h prof0und~

Why is that even when I move in triangular pattern (in my own axis) my head still spins in circles?

SET Max sux0rz

Stupid SET Max with its stupid SET Max coverage of the ICC Champions Trophy! Not only do I have to watch the dumbest pre-show in history, I have to do so with a running nose and sore throat. Mandira Bedi is slutty as ever, the other TV doofus is irritating as hell and Charu Sharma was always a waste of picture tube space. Navjot Singh Siddhu's charm has run out, and whatever dark force convinced Ian Chappell (one of my favourites) that this was a good idea must have been the left hand of God!

To top it all off, we have the dumbass Tarot Card reader lady -- Mandira pulls out 5 cards with to predict the result. What does the future hold??? *Cue suspense music*

Tarot Lady: Virender Sehwag will do very well!
Mandira: Woohoo!
Tarot Lady: Oh wait! Tendulkar will do better!
Mandira: Woooohooo!!
Tarot Lady: But England will be faster...much faster. I think England has a slight edge.
Other Guy: Goooo India!!

Wrong, idiot. Well, yeah Tendulkar did do better, technically. I hope the whole set (pardon the pun) catches fire and dies.

Cheeseballs

Have this sudden hankering for cheeseballs. Don't know why. Not that I'm a huge fan, but I could bite into a whole "big bag" right now. You know, the kind that collapse in your mouth like bubbles but stick to your molars for days. The kind you try picking with toothpicks and won't come off. Speaking of cheeseballs, anyone know why the packs are filled with air? Who the flying fluff is going to get hoodwinked into believing the pack is filled to seal with balls?

*~^~*Diwali*~^~*

5-day holiday, baby! Not to mention new clothes, sweets, and of course...firecrackers! Don't care what people say, I still enjoy waking up at 3, 4 in the morning (most of the time) and announce the same with the first saravedi.
But one thing I don't look forward to is pseudo activism during this season: if it's not child labour in fireworks factories, it's pollution of some kind. Sometimes it's noise, otherwise it's general air pollution. Of course then there's "oh no! what about the dogs?!"
I like kids, and the environment and dogs in general, I really do. But what I hate is these doofuses who pretend the actually care for these things -- albeit fleetingly -- especially during this season. Well, if you're so damn passionate about child labour and related causes then why don't go to your nearest tea shop and rescue said "suffering children"? All one's gotta do here is pick up the f*ckin' phone and dial 1098 (thats ten-nine-eight).
If you care so much about the air getting polluted, stop driving your car!
Same goes for your concern for dogs.

I've been celebrating Diwali this way since...ever. And I don't intend on stopping because you care all of a sudden.

Work on a Sunday

What kind of a person asks another to work on a Sunday? Why is it that it's always someone asking you to work on a Sunday and not vice versa? Oh yeah, I'm not a "boss".
It's not longer a weekend, its a week-rollover. And your whole day is f*cked because you wake up thinking "oh f*ck I gotta work today, a Sunday!" and once you're done working you end up thinking "holy s*it! did I just waste a whole damn Sunday?!"
Now a Sunday is a post-hangover, sit at home, watch a movie, sleep more kind of a day to begin with. To expect one to work, and get the work done as well is outrageous. I propose we find the Sunday work-givers and use tweezers to pluck their pubic hair.

Peter Sellers...

...is t3h mayne. The man absolutely owns everything. In case some of you wonder where Kamal Hassan gets his comic inspiration from, look no further than the late, great Peter Sellers. I just some more "Pink Panther" on DVD, and the guy reminded me why I was on the floor clutching my guts from the pain caused by the preceding laughter most of the time when I watched these movies as a kid. The accent, Cato, the "beumbs and phewns"...everything. Not that one should go only by the Panther series -- "Dr. Strangelove..." is just as brilliant. It was initially bizzare thinking Kubrick and Sellers actually worked together, but in the end it made sense. They're mad!

And if you're a Sellers fan, watch "The Life and Death of Peter Sellers". Geoffrey Rush does an impeccable job.

Rang De Basanti

In case you didn't know, read this.

On a much more humorous note, RDB is also (apparently) the 48th most funny film ever -- or at least the IMDB people think so.

Lolz@

Haircut

I'll telepathically transfer $5 to a non-exsitent bank account if you guess what the headline is implying.

I'm combing my hair once again now.

Kurt Angle, TNA...wow. So was he lying all this time about taking time off, the business taking its toll etc? Guess we'll never know...at least for a while. How desperate must he have been to conjure up such a thing and then not month later sign up with "the future". Oh, and who's gonna "kill" who you figure -- Angle or Samoa Joe?

Boorah!~

Apologies. Apparently, The Miz's catchphrase is not "who rock" as I so embarrassingly declared it to be. As I've since come to find out, it is indeed "hoo-rah".

Boo.

On a related note,Vince Russo is back in TNA. If his on-screen role will try and break kayfabe again, I will do something...really bad. He is supposed to head the TNA booking team.

Boo.

Facial hair

My conservative relatives tell me that a moustache makes a man. I have a goatee. And there was this one particular incident where I was waiting for my comp at a net cafe, this gentleman sitting next to me, after staring at me (or my face) for a while, leant forward and asked me "are you a muslim?"

Doofuses.

Hair above the upper lip=man.
Hair below lower lip=of Islamic faith.

Doofuses.

Beep! Beep!

Back after over week I am. And this is what've I've experienced over the past one week.

1. "Jillunu (sic) Oru Kaadhal" is a futile attempt at a Tamil chick flick. Too many loose ends left untied. How does Gautham come to fall in love Kundavi in the first place (and vice versa)? And what's with Bhoomika's character's (yeah, I forgot her name so sue me!) sudden change of outlook to life -- or at least that's what they portray. Sure the kid's cute, but that's not enough.

1(a). Product placement sucks. Every bike is a TVS. Everyone drinks Pepsi. And so on.
1(b). Define "Extreme Power" that a car would need. (This scene is hilarious, especially for engineers and those into cars and automobiles in general)
1(c). Santhanam is the only saving grace. "Nair kadai Masal Vadai thinnen, paruppu vegave illai". Vadivelu has always been overrated, in my opinion -- case in point, this movie.

2. "Vettaiyadu Vilayadu" -- for a Tamil movie -- is kick ass. Watch the master's movie, instead of the aforementioned apprentice movie. If this movie were anymore kick ass, the audience would literally have their asses in their mouths as a result of the ass kicking...or something like that. The comparisons to "Kakka Kakka" are inevitable, and there are many obvious references to this milestone Tamil movie, but fluff them, and fluff comparisons to Hollywood movies. Take this movie for what it is and it will r0x0rz j00r b0x0rz.

3. I can't stand pseudo-frenchies who live in Pondicherry.

4. I'd rather buy pr0n.

"Is it good?"

A phrase I often hear at restaurants. I'm sure this subject has been touched upon, nay, raped before. But indulge me. I feel ranty.

Stupid Guy: What's the 'Hawaiian Salad'?
Waiter: It's chicken, pineapple and other...salady stuff.
Stupid Guy: Oh! Is it good?

No, it's actually chicken sh*t and cowdung. We add rat droppings for taste. And aren't we the 'wise one' getting suggestions from the waiter -- he's the food expert here. Also there's the :--

What's good here?

We piss on all of the food, so everything tastes the same really.
Then there's the :--

Can you please bring the food, like, fast?

Actually I was planning to perform feats of strength for you guys and maybe a piano recital before bringing the food, but now that you've clearly specified that you prefer the food on your plate (and quick) I have no option but to make haste.

Seinfoogle

If Google existed in the mid-90s, or if Seinfeld was still running, do you think Seinfeld would have googled answers to his pseudo-philosophical questions? So, in effect, negating the whole concept of the show.

"What's the deal with airplane peanuts?
Oh... that! I didn't know that."

Chefs' hats

I don't get them. Why are they so tall? Some are puffy at the top, some aren't. Is there a significance? Do they feel the need to be taller than the rest? And they look a bit unbalanced. What if they fell...maybe they're designed to fall and therefore have the chefs mind their heads all the time. Or maybe it's for them to get a false sense of height and strength, ergo, keep them in check. "Yes, you've reached the pinnacle, now wear this hat so your head doesn't grow".

Ok

So I tried typing in two, three new posts and abandoned them mid-way. 'Cause they all sukkeded!

So read this instead!

Vettaiyadu Vilayadu is good movie. Watch it.

Biscuits are nice.

So are Jennifer Aniston's b00bies.

"Cut here" tabs

Yeah they're worthless. Thank you for that utterly useless piece of informaton without which I wouldn't know where to tear my sachet of anti-dandruff shampoo (yes, I got the 'ruffs) and as a result of which I would be rendered completely helpless. That's not the best part, these new sachets come without the small tear in the edge that help you grip and consequently tear this annoying piece of plastic(?) You'd eventually use the scissors anyway, the only difference is you'd please the pack by tearing right through the dotted line.

Now don't even get me started on that pretentious little dashed line.

OK, so I'm not blog-cool

Or at least from what I've heard from other people. Bloggers and non-bloggers alike. I don't have "delicious" (or whatever that is) links on my page. Nor do I "digg". I don't have a blogroll. I do have Technorati, though. But I guess it's more than just sidebar links. I don't "link" to other things often. Also, I don't embed Youtube videos often enough.

:\

Peeping Tom

To paraphrase George Costanza from "The Jacket(?)" episode in Seinfeld, I say this with a unblemished, staunch record of heterosexuality -- Mike Patton's voice is teh sex.

I sampled Peeping Tom -- Patton's long-awaited Pop album. It does not let one down. Patton once again collaborates with Dan "The Automator" Nakamura (they previously worked together on Lovage) of Gorillaz fame and some other notable artists like Norah Jones, Amon Tobin among others.

If you've given Lovage a listen, then this is similar territory, except it's more electronic than lounge. Although there isn't a whole bunch of vocal experimentation -- as we're used to -- from Patton, there's plenty of instrumentation and other intangible nuances on this album. This is how pop should be, or Patton's way of saying "pop sucks". I favour the former. The tracks that stand out for me are the opening track, "5 seconds"; "Mojo", with a very catchy chorus; and "Sucker", the one featuring a foul-mouthed Norah Jones.

Obviously, if you're a Patton fan, you already possess this album or have downloaded it like me. If you haven't, you're wasting your time on my blog.

Sp@mmers

Who are these people? Do you know someone who is a professional spammer? Yeah, it would be convenient to believe that spam is automated, but deep down inside we want to believe that there is a guy sitting behind his desk intently typing out the exact sum that has been transferred to your bank account.

Do these people go through job interviews? What do you think the "career objective" section would say? Make a career out of asking people to refill their cartridges.

And do these organisations have a hierarchy? I mean, do the really good ones get to work the bank frauds? And perhaps the trainee spammers are the ones who are given the Viagra selling section, not to forget telling people that their erections are not big enough. That would at least explain the spelling, or the lack thereof.

And do these people have sales targets to achieve? Are they part of the Union? Do they go out to the bar and down a couple drinks with other spammers at the end of a hard days' spam?

Who are they? Where do they live?? Isn't it time you refilled your cartridge???

Boo!

New beta Blogger is fluffin' up my layout! Check out the incomplete table on your right. Can't edit HTML either.

Stupid WWE Diva Search

Really. This is like (bad) Reality TV meets boring strippers meets sex-starved couch potato. It is so bad that Youtube does not have viewable clips for me to share with you. To top all that we have the imbecilic twit of a host "Miz" with and his insipid "who rock?" catchphrase. Which brings me to the answer to his question. Actually, Miz, I do not know who rocks. But I sure do know who doesn't.

All these stupid dumb blondes (pardon the generalisation) do is strut their stupid stripper stuff -- badly at that -- and "wohoo" a couple of times and get cheap pops from the audience, who by the way, are either half asleep or have lost half their brain cells during this segment. The rest of said cells die once "Miztake" goes to his catchphrase...

Now excuse me, I left some porn in the microwave.

The you-should-have-been-there joke

Yep. The one where your friends recount a so-called hilariously funny incident, laugh throughout the narration, and you are left wondering if you should snicker in support or do the fake laugh. Then there's awkward one which is really the funny part for third party observers: all of you stare at each other before the someone admits that "you really should have been there".

Thinking back, it's not really a "joke" now is it?

T3h DVD b0x0rz

Uh, yeah. I finally put my fledgling DVD collection in a box. Now I feel all... collectory. But now I don't know what to do with those 4-5 empty black polythene bags.

Of course, putting them (the DVDs) up on display does have it's cons as well. The first obvious one being free sight and access to picking. "Oh! You got 'insertforeignfilmnamehere' in your collection!" Not that I have sh*tloads of foreign films. In fact, I hardly have sh*tloads of films to begin with. It's just that people look at 'insertforeignfilmnamehere' and go "what language is that?" which is usually followed by a "does it come with subtitles?"

No, I just sit through 2 hours of a movie in a language I have no intention of understanding.

Or the other question would be "you watch these films?" Yes, I watch those films. I'm a that film watcher. In fact, when I die I'd like to be remembered for watching those kind of films.
Then of course there's the inevitable nudity-related question which, admittedly, even I've asked sometimes.

Maybe I should just stick to porn.

Batman Begins vs. Superman Returns

Not sure if this topic has been covered before, but as you may know from the previous post, I just finished watching "Superman Returns" some time back, hence the inevtiable comparison topic.

I'd have to give the nod to "Batman Begins" for being a more complete film. There were a lot of little nuances in the movie and the fact that Nolan covered pretty much everything from Wayne's "fears to Batman's Ninja skills to the Bat Utility Belt. I just didn't like the overdose of "loopy" dialogue.

Although "Superman..." also has it's positives. For example the whole "son" thing wasn't something I expected. And it didn't indulge in extravagant dialogues like "Batman..." did. Which is an irony for me because "Batman Begins" was a more "real" film, while "Superman Returns" deals with, well, super powers.

I've been partial to the Batman faction all these years. Though I've nothing against the Man of Steel, I'm more eagerly awaiting the Batman Sequel (titled "The Dark Knight, or so I heard) more than Superman's.

On a related note, did anyone notice the similarities?

1. Both directed by directors with cult hits to their name. One might argue "The Usual Suspects" wasn't really a cult hit, but then again not many people here have heard of or seen the damn movie!

2. Both have relatively unknown lead actors.

3. Both have leading ladies whose first names are "Kate"... alright fine, it's Katie technically. But indulge me. Both titles are "active" phrases.

That's all I can think of for now. Anyways... um... cool...

Kal El Jr.??!

Seriously. I did not see that coming. I heard people go "nice movie". I heard people go "t3h sux0rz"... alright they didn't say that. I even heard people go "Super-who?". No one, not even die-hard Superman fans told me he had/has a son in the movie. My only question is, aren't Lois and Clark/Superman s'posed to be having Super-sex at some point of time to concieve a Super-baby? Or have I missed out on something. I've heard and read the theory of Clark and Lois having a thing (back in the original Superman 2) and therefore having made Super-love. But my personal conspiracy theory is this, and I don't care if Superman fans are offended: Superman "popped" in and out at the speed of light, before Lois could even have a Super-orgasm.

Oh and Kevin Spacey=t3h pwn~

Heroes in a half-shell

Turtle Power!



w00t!

"I'm an excellent driver"

OK. I should technically paraphrase it to "rider" because I was riding my bike when this curious incident happened; near fatal, if one were to put a more serious twist to it. (Read on)

So I was on my bike, on my way to work. Everything's hunky dory so far -- fuel in my tank, song in my head, not so busy day ahead. As I was motoring along at this particularly vehicle-infested road called Casa Major, two bikes in front of me parted like the sea in front of Moses. And I heard another behind me screech to a halt. At this point I didn't have much of an idea what was happening, when suddenly this pretty big mass of black -- with a hint of feathers around it -- plummeted towards me. I tried to veer away, but for whatever reason its trajectory matched my path. As it was inches away from me, I realised it was a crow.

Yes, a crow.

Actually, I can't prove it was a crow. In fact I'm not so sure if it was a "crow" in the first place. As you probably guessed, it crashed into me. Somewhere between my neck and my chest. I swerved and I swayed. My hands were off the handlebar, flailing in the air. Meanwhile, this "bird", stuck to my chest, fluttered away. I nearly crashed into a cyclist and almost veered myself into the hard, not so even, concrete below. After what seemed like an eternity, the "bird" slid off my chest. I barely regained control that I lost. All the motorists around me stared back at me -- in awe I would presume. To top it all of it was Tuesday -- a day I consider terribly unlucky (or should I consider myself lucky this time?) No injuries though, but my neck felt like, well, like a big bird fell on it. And no, I did not stop to check on myself or the bird.

Now, back to my knitting.

You will leave in -1 seconds...

I was just checking the stats for this here blog. The average time an outside visitor stays in this here blog is: 0. So by the time you read this, you're already at your next blog. Which is a paradox(?) because you won't really read it because you left. But you are reading this, then you haven't left but you're a 0 (or were one) nonetheless.

Gravy.

Bring on the "marketing" tools I say!

Are wrestling fans in India dumb?

Or do our famed local sports networks make us to be. Seriously, ESPN/Star/Star World's coverage of TNA's shows is absolutely appalling. The chronology if the shows is messed and even moreso the commentary. I sent out an e-mail to the so called programming guys -- yes, through the default e-mail address mentioned in the show -- and discussed said issues but no reply yet, as predicted.

That annoying commentator who keeps saying "munna" every second sentence as if he was a thug yesterday in the mean streets of aamchi Mumbai needs to watch MORE wrestling in order to be a WRESTLING COMMENTATOR. A smoothly executed Butterfly Suplex is NOT an "overhead slam". Nincompoops. Yeah, I'm a wrestling geek who watches "WW" on TV all the time. And no, it's not "fake".

Idiots.

One of the bestest I've viddied

Yep. To those who don't know yet, I'm talking about Stanely Kubrick's "Clockwork Orange". I can see why it's on many people's favourite list. Maybe it will even get on to mine. The dialogue, the direction, partially the acting. And who can forget the milk bar. Off for some ultra-violence now.

I wish I could make...

A romantic comedy, where the protagonists don't share a love-hate/hate-hate relationship.
A thriller where the obvious suspect is actually the killer for logical reasons.
A horror film where the "ghost" is completely dead. Every ectoplasmic molecule of it.
An action movie where the only fight is a battle of wits.
A children's film where the villians still hate the kid at the end of the movie.
A porn film with a plot and no money shot.
A buddy movie where two friends eventually end up at each other's throats.
And a documentary based on a not-so-true story.

Going to the movies is fun

That is if you end up going. So all my so-called "friends" have all watched "Pirates...". Yeah, yeah, Johnny Depp=too cool man and all of that. Hey I was Johnny Depp cool even before you knew he liked France and that he was the guy in that video, OK? (Read on)


Being an astonishingly irritating Saturday afternoon, I sort of convinced my friends -- the remaining few -- to drag themselves to a swashbuckling pirates sequel. And agree they did. It takes a lot to woo my friends away from booze, it does.

So we get on to the net, find out what shows are running.

4.40 PM
Evening show: a few available in the spinal distrophy section of theaters.
Night show: plenty.

Yeah, we're lazy. So we go back to work, which isn't really work on Saturday.

5.15 PM
Evening show: booked, of course.
Night show: Plenty still, but getting close to the first few rows.

7.25 PM
Get the credit cards out, let's book us some tickets, mateys! Arrr! Of course, we didn't have credit cards. We know the net booking service doesn't accept debit cards, nor does the ticket counter. But boredom makes you do weird things. So I fish out my card, type in the fancy numbers and voila! Page freezes!
Amidst unstable software, hope arises. Maybe Mozilla knows that we somehow scammed the net into booking tickets through a credit card! Aha.

Prepare to board!

For luck, my friend fishes out his card. More numbers. Clicky clicky. Error messages, a headache, pounding veins and a friend fresh out of an epiphany meant that it was all too late. The plank for ye, matey. Depp's gonna have to just wait.

The back-to-normal entry

I am at home, my blog is open in the other window. Heaven.

Didn't ever think I'd be typing those words. To commemorate this occassion, I will be typing more incomprehensible babble that the dozens, ok, tens... fine, the two of you have come to adore. Here goes - (&)@)@_%*R@_%(8(280&25295061!!~

Strange...

Blogspot blogs open fine here (at office).

Anyways, thought I'd flaunt my first credit card (debit card, actually) purchase.
Funny, how all my life I thought a card would never change the way I look at money. It already has. I splurged my second "salary" on a CD and and clothing -- a lot for someone like me. Not that I'm stingy, I'm just not "splurgy".

NOW Blospot's blocked

For the last few days that I have been following certain blogs, people complained about being denied access to their favourite blogspot (yummy!) blogs. I was able to access them just fine. But now everything is "blocked"... I think. Strange. The (blog) universe is trying to tell me something.

Blog entry for the day: I'm stuck already

One one hand, I'm trying to be all systematic and diligent and make one entry a day. On the other hand, I have my phallus. Seriously though, on the other hand, I thought "if I'm not interesting enough, people won't read s*it!"

So, here I am, naked already without that idea of mine. Sure is breezy today. That phallus is getting smaller and smaller. So I tell myself "man, you're hardly into your third post EVER and here you are... nekked!" I need to spend some time with some crazy people. Um... ok... not "crazy". Maybe verbally challenged... ah fook it! I need some retards to make me look smart. But not like Rainman retard - that's just counter-productive. I don't need some guy telling me "82, 82, 82... 246 words in your post". I have enough IIT-caliber cousins to make me look stupid.

All of us have one cousin, that one guy (or girl) who speaks Mathematics. Whose myopia is suprisingly far worse than yours. Who willingly wears large, chequered clothing. The one who "likes Tendulkar and Ganglee (sic)". He who knows all the authors of all the reference books and guides that you have lying around. The one that embarrasses you by asking you "which tuition you go to" and gives tips on how to crack the TNPCMIFNS exams. Hey don't get me wrong. I'm not claiming to be "cool" because I don't study, I just feel a little uncomfortable when I see someone who enjoys "getting marks".

Anyway, I just thought I'd at least ramble and take your attention off this apparent lack of creative writing this blog is suffering from.

Yeah, you just wasted two more minutes.

Bah Gawd! He's busted wide open!

Yep, I'm in. And yes, I'm looking for porn in the other window. No, I haven't really figured out this "feed" business. Yes, I'm wondering how much money I'd make in Ad Sense. No, I'm straight. Yep, this was a welcome post, and yes, this was a waste of time (some would say). No, I don't know if the full stop/period comes before or after the brackets/parenthesis. Yes, I'm pret-ty bad at this.

Reluctant Beretta

A not-so-clever title for a not-so-clever test post