I wish I could make...

A romantic comedy, where the protagonists don't share a love-hate/hate-hate relationship.
A thriller where the obvious suspect is actually the killer for logical reasons.
A horror film where the "ghost" is completely dead. Every ectoplasmic molecule of it.
An action movie where the only fight is a battle of wits.
A children's film where the villians still hate the kid at the end of the movie.
A porn film with a plot and no money shot.
A buddy movie where two friends eventually end up at each other's throats.
And a documentary based on a not-so-true story.